Are You a Believer or a Follower? The Hard Truth

Whoever desires to come after me
must take up his cross, deny himself,
and come and follow me.

Human behavior scientists maintain
that in order to change one’s behavior,
the person who actually wants to change
needs to desire to change.
That sounds so obvious, right?
If you want to change something,
you have to actually want to change it.

But that is the first and most important thing:
one has to desire to change first.
Because once one desires to change,
then they have to overcome what is known as the implementation dip.
You go to do it, and once you start doing it,
it is actually harder than you expect.
Finally it finally gets easier,
and then the new behavior takes hold.
In that dip, you have to overcome the inertia
of doing the very thing you are trying to change to.
That applies to any behavior,
whether it is the changing of a habit,
or the formation of a habit,
or the establishing any new behavior.

It also applies to every relationship we have.
If we want to get married,
what is the first thing we have to do?
We have to desire to meet somebody, right?
We cannot marry somebody
until we have met them and know them.
It is sort of obvious, right?
But some people think they are going to get married
rather than do the hard work of meeting people.

I just got back from the wedding of my niece in Hawaii,
and I always find weddings awesome.
They are just so special.
And those of you who are married know this:
they have no idea what they are doing.
Right? You know it.
They have no idea.

In that moment they are promising their life away.
They are making all these promises,
and they do not know what they really mean.
But I know it, and you know it.
They have no clue what they have just signed up for,
and yet they love to do it anyway.
It is beautiful.
It is inspiring.

Still, what comes first is desire.
They have the desire to love one another.
And then they make the commitment,
the promise to love one another.
Then comes the practice.
Because without this, the love will never last.
You have to have the desire.
You have to be willing to practice it.
And then there is the hard work of doing it.

There are lots of benefits.
You know this, right?
There is great joy in marriage,
but it never comes without first the desire,
then the actual doing of it,
and living that commitment.
And it involves, as you know,
a great deal of sacrifice,
a great deal of giving oneself away.
Because it is not just about receiving.
It is about giving and receiving.

In today’s Gospel, and in all of today’s readings,
we are talking about what it means to be a disciple.
Jesus makes it very clear, right at the beginning:
if you desire to come after me.
He is not presuming that you desire.

There are lots of people listening to him
who think he is a wonderful teacher,
who think he does amazing things,
but they have no desire to follow him.
They have no desire to be a disciple.
And that is what it means to be a disciple.

There are lots of people who are believers in Jesus Christ.
They believe who Jesus Christ is.
Let us be very clear:
that is very different from being a follower of Christ Jesus.

You are all here because you are followers.
You got up early on a Sunday morning
to be a follower of Jesus Christ.
Now, I know some of you,
the children most importantly,
are here because your parents brought you here.
I get that.
But you are in the practice of a follower.
The desire, then the practice, then the life itself.

Jesus articulates this, and it is very hard for us to hear.
But those of you who are married, you get this.
Pick up your cross and follow me.
In other words, it is the hard work of living out love.
It is very real.
It is not all hunky-dory.
It is not all wonderful.

That is what a couple on their wedding day cannot possibly know,
and it is probably better that they do not.
But there is a beautiful part of that.
Because what they come to learn
is that the cross is not about suffering, but about sacrifice.
And that is what Paul goes on about
in the Letter to the Romans.
You cannot have this life of discipleship without sacrifice.

You have to give something up
to get what you need to get,
in this case, discipleship.
You have to desire it,
and then be willing to sacrifice for it,
to pick up your cross.
Now, that does not mean you have to pick up Jesus’ cross.
You do not have to hang on the cross.
You do not have to be crucified.
But we do have to pick up our own crosses,
whatever those may be.

That means maybe, for the young ones today,
yes, you have to get up early on a Sunday morning.
You are going to have to say no to certain things as a disciple,
and yes to other things
that do not always feel like the right thing at the time,
but afterwards they always feel like the right thing.
See, that is what love does.

At the time, it is hard.
You know it is the right thing,
but afterwards you are completely sure it was.
In that moment you were saying, this is hard,
but I know this is the right thing to do.
And afterwards you are saying,
I am so glad I did that.
That is exactly what she needed today.
That is exactly what he needed,
and I was able to do it.
That is the sacrifice.
And that is the third part of what it means to follow Jesus,
to be a real disciple.

Our challenge in our society today,
and we need to just name it and be honest,
is that we have lots of people who talk about Jesus.
They even believe who Jesus is,
but they are not followers of Jesus.
Their actions look no more like Jesus’
than the man on the moon.
And that is a problem for us who claim to be Christians,
because it is a bit scandalous
to say one thing and do another.

We cannot change others,
because they do not have a desire for change.
The only ones we can change are ourselves.
So all of us who have made the commitment to come here,
all of us who have a desire for change,
we double down on it,
and we commit to the change.
Yes, we desire to change,
and then we commit to it,
knowing that there is a bit of sacrifice to it.
It is a cross.

Not everything we would like to do can we do,
but the things we know we ought to do,
because of love, we do.
And then afterwards we know
that was the right thing to do.
That was the right thing to do,
and we do it.

So today as we come forward,
we have the courage to be here, yes,
but we come to receive the strength and the grace from the table.
Because you see, what I have just said is hard,
and that is why we come to the table:
to receive the strength of the Body and Blood of Christ.

And also, to be honest,
part of it is to see other people doing it as well,
and that helps a great deal.
That is what communion is about:
that together we gain strength.
We do not have to worry about other people,
because we cannot control other people’s desires.

What we can do is control our own.
We desire to be a disciple.
Then we will sacrifice for Christ,
and then we will follow him.
For some of us, that is going to cost us dearly this week,
because you might have to do something
that is not going to be liked,
or that you do not like yourself,
but you know it is the right thing.
And for others of us, it is just going to be natural.
It is going to feel okay,
because that is the way life is sometimes.

So today as we come forward,
let us know Christ,
desire Christ,
be willing to sacrifice for Christ,
and then truly, not only be believers in Christ,
but be followers of Christ
in all we say and do.
That is what Christ asks of us,
and that is why we are here.

Whoever desires to come after me
must take up his cross, deny himself,
and come and follow me.