Forgive and Be Set Free

Why is it that we remember certain things and events and not others?

We have a vivid memory of certain things and

other things, well, it’s as if they never happened.

Technically, the term is called “selective memory.”

Couples know a lot about it

because there is a lot of selective memory involved in a marriage.

Here is the thing about selective memory.

It is actually a function of our brain to protect us

and to enable us to work effectively.

Obviously, we cannot remember everything!

There are too many events happening for us

to actually remember every single event.

So our brain is programmed over centuries as part of evolution

to remember the positive events and let go of the negative ones.

I know what you are thinking,

“Well that is not completely true”­­­

because lots of us remember negative events

and this has become the issue.

Why is it that we remember negative events

when we would much rather remember positive ones,

which are to our benefit?

But we have this new trait in human beings

where we remember the negative events in a special way;

especially grudges and things that hurt us!

We have been through a lot this week.

It has been an extraordinary week;

who could forget that sky

earlier this week and all day with the smoke;

the almost apocalyptic nature of it!

I do not think any of us will ever forget that bright orange sky.

Now we hope we never see it again but we will not forget it.

Or for those of us who were around on the Friday, 19 years ago,

September 11th, 2001!

We all remember that event, that day like no other.

We can all remember exactly where we were;

what we were doing; and who we were when

we watched those airplanes fly into the Twin Towers in New York.

Those are particularly extraordinary events that happened to us

and we tend to remember extraordinary events

because of the sort of unusual nature.

What I would like to talk about this morning

because it is the theme of our scriptures is that of forgiveness;

or more importantly unforgiveness is what Jesus is trying to talk about.

Why is unforgiveness so unhealthy for us?

It is so not what his plan and God’s design is for us,

which is not to hold onto the stuff of hurt, of pain.

How does Christ want us to deal with these memories?

It seems counterintuitive but in fact it is not.

The Lord is saying to us in Matthew’s gospel that

we are called to let go of the hurts and the pains every single time.

By design by God, our body and our brains

were literally designed for that.

But we have this new trait that is developing

where we hold onto bad memories, hurts, wounds of the past.

On a psychological level, we can determine

it is a result of the emotional memory.

And there are lots of psychological techniques

that can divert the memory from one bad memory into a good memory.

But Jesus is talking about something

that is more than just a psychological technique.

He is talking about something that brings us back

to our original design by God.

And that is to live in forgiveness each and every time.

He ties it here to our freedom and Paul ties it too

and so does Sirach from the first reading.

They all tie it all to our freedom.

When we do not forgive we lock ourselves up.

We actually lock ourselves away.

I know that the instinct is that when somebody hurts me;

if somebody has hurt me,

the temptation is that when I do not forgive that person

then that person is paying the price;

that person has lost their freedom.

That is what it feels like.

Actually, what happens is we are the ones that get locked up

because the other person may never even remember

that they even hurt us and often they do not

or certainly not to the extent that they hurt us.

I want to give you an image.

Imagine yourself in one of those old time jails

with the bars and the Sheriff’s office out there

and the big key on the O-ring.

Imagine you are walking into that jail,

pulling the jail door closed,

taking the key in the O-ring,

turning the key and locking yourself inside.

Then taking the key out of the lock

and throwing the key over away from you.

That is unforgiveness.

We cannot get ourselves out of the prison of unforgiveness.

The good news is that Jesus comes along with the O-ring

and he offers us forgiveness for ourselves and for others.

Now here is the strange thing about this:

God does not actually open up the cell door!

We have to open it.

God offers us forgiveness.

Christ offers us forgiveness.

But we have to accept it.

And then once we take that key from Jesus through the bars,

we are in jail, we take the keys from Jesus.

We have to reach out and then we have to open up the lock.

Even when we open up the lock,

we have to actually open up the door.

Even when we actually open up the door,

we actually have to step outside.

And even when we step outside,

we have to stay outside.

That is the definition of forgiveness.

The challenge we have is when we are in that little cell,

we get kind of comfortable because we know everything that we have.

We get comfortable in the cell of unforgiveness;

“No, she did that, she was mean.

Yes,it was 20 years ago

but gosh I’m not going to forgive her.”

We lock up ourselves.

When we have genuine hurt;

when someone for example, a drunk driver kills our child.

A terrible, horrible thing.

People will come by and visit us in our jail cell

because they understand, it is righteous hurt;

and it is righteous unforgiveness at first.

The problem is when we stay in the jail,

people start to come by less and less often saying,

“You’ve got to let yourself out.

I keep visiting but I cannot keep coming forever.”

And we have to forgive because

we are the ones who have lost our freedom.

That is the ultimate message of Jesus Christ about forgiveness.

It sets us free.

And Jesus offers this to us every single time.

That is why he insists and even Sirach says,

“Who in their right mind would choose to lock themselves up

when they were forgiven?

When they were given the gift of freedom?

Why would they do that?”

It is called sin.

We must go to Christ and take the key to allow ourselves

to maintain our freedom;

allow God’s forgiveness into our heart first.

Take that freedom.

And then use it to set ourselves free

and anyone else who we think deserves forgiveness.

Today, it is all about freedom

and to forgive is to remain free every day.

Join me in forgiving all who have hurt us

from the smallest to the largest.

Let no one, let no one take away our freedom.

Forgive and be set free.